


All Alone on Christmas

by TheWriterChick



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Christmas fic, Darcy/Steve Holiday Fic/Art Exchange, F/M, Fluff, Unplanned Pregnancy, anxiety from darcy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 06:59:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1116874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWriterChick/pseuds/TheWriterChick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmas Eve, and poor, pregnant Darcy can't keep her spirits up at the Stark Christmas party. She can't keep thinking on the last three months: from when she and Steve finally got together to this wonderfully miserable place. </p><p>**Christmas fluff (eventually)</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Alone on Christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyChi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyChi/gifts).



> I used a lot of puppy analogies. I also used the word ‘obvious’ a lot. I hope it actually makes sense because it all seems like gobble-de-gook at this point. 
> 
> ANYWHO…. the prompt was “Darcy and Steve find out their pregnant close to Christmas” and it turned into this thing that continued to grow. It took a long time before I found the flow; I hope it’s enjoyable. Darcy is quite moody throughout, but I’m hoping the plot-twist at the end makes up for it.
> 
> Also, I wrote sex. It’s fade-to-black sex, but it’s sex nonetheless. *awkward laugh*
> 
> MERRY CHRISTMAS, LADYCHI <3 YOU’RE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE FANFIC AUTHORS. I HOPE I DID YOU PROUD.
> 
> (thanks to katertots for letting me flail with her over the fic exchange)
> 
> **No beta. All mistakes are mine. I own nothing Marvel related. Also apologies for the insane word count!!

Christmas Eve in the penthouse of Stark Tower was a young but non-negotiable tradition. The room would be completely over-decorated, just like the rest of the tower; two seven-foot-tall nutcrackers stood on either side of the fireplace and garland hung around every window and countertop, intertwined with lights that blinked in time with 'Jingle Bells.' It was seriously like Christmas barfed all over the place after a few too many rum-and-eggnogs. (Ten out of ten for enthusiasm, Tony. At least the nutcrackers were traditional and not iron-man like.)

Last year Darcy had been fighting all of her basic instincts to be a wallflower at the party. Thor was a big help, but she was still spooked about talking with the AVENGERS in real life. But this year, she considered herself good friends with every member on the team (even the new guys like Sam Wilson and Bucky).

Unfortunately there were some less-than-positive, notable differences to this year's party: Captain America, Hawkeye and the Black Widow weren't there. They were on a mission in Russia, deeply undercover, in a mission that was only supposed to last a few weeks but now they've been gone for three whole months.

Oh, yeah, and Darcy was pregnant.

When Darcy and Jane arrived, Darcy said her hellos and Jane's attention was distracted because Thor came up to her the enthusiastic puppy he was (and that was no big deal to Darcy, honest--love is adorable when it makes a giant man comparable to a puppy) and Pepper commented on her cute sweater dress and Darcy smoothed it out with her hands, a gut reaction, but her hand drifted over the slowly growing bump at her stomach. A pang of sadness hit her, but she kept the smile up until she was able to park her pregnant ass on the sofa near the gloriously decorated Christmas tree and watched the party play out.

She hadn't expected the wallflower instinct to kick in this year, too.

She watched the wonderfully catered feast. Thor had three helpings (just like last year) and Tony was well into the punch (which was definitely spiked, Darcy just didn't know to what degree) and Bucky was wandering around with mistletoe and being an ass (which is weird because last year it was Clint pulling that stunt until Natasha finally threw him to the ground, and Bucky wasn't there to bear witness to the smack-down. .... or he realized, with Natasha gone, he had a better chance of getting away with it. Damn it). And just as before, under the mistletoe that remained hanging, Tony would capture Pepper in the middle of her hosting duties and give her a sweet kiss and it was adorable.

See, last year Darcy found all the lovey-dovey stuff adorable and cute and she liked seeing these folks who had generally stressful lives have a little bit of happiness, at least on the one day of the year that it really counted. But now? It only reminded her of how alone she felt. So when Bucky wandered over to her couch, holding a sprig of mistletoe up, she was obviously less than obliging.

Darcy narrowed her eyes. "Can I help you, Agent Barnes?" she asked, voice dripping with disdain.

Bucky pouted--which made him look like a puppy, kicked, and that was just not fair--and lowered his hand. She only ever called him 'Agent Barnes' when she was pissed off. "Just trying to cheer you up, doll."

Darcy pouted right back at him and didn't budge from the couch. "I'm cheerful. Don't worry about me."

Unfortunately her attitude didn't deter him; he fell onto the sofa, right beside her. Darcy rolled her eyes and continued to stare out the window, pausing to smooth out her dress again (avoiding the belly area). Bucky looked at the bump she was avoiding, and when Darcy stared back up at him, he had a hand half-raised, along with a brow. Asking for permission. She appreciated, but shit, it was a bit early for everyone to want to touch her stomach, wasn't it? She hadn't even grown that much yet. Either way, Darcy nodded. Bucky laid his human hand on the bump, marvelling at the strong skin there.

"I, for one," he spoke after a moment, "think you two knuckleheads would've figured it out on your own. Without Stark being pushy."

Darcy frowned. "Excuse me?"

"You and the Cap."

Darcy turned her head sharply towards the window. Nope. Nope, she wasn't going to cry, not on Christmas Eve, not when she promised herself that she wouldn't break down in front of her coworkers and friends. Not when she gave herself this huge pep-talk before the party, telling herself that she could be a put-together woman who can handle her shit for a few hours and not mope about the guy she only dated for one damn week (the guy then ran off for THREE MONTHS).

Shit, her eyes were wet. So much for 'nope.'

Her shoulders sagged and she worried her bottom lip for a moment before asking quietly, "Is it super obvious?"

Bucky offered her a sad smile. "Is what super obvious?"

Geeze, did she have to say it? ".... is it obvious that I miss him? When it's pathetic to miss someone so much when you've only been with them for a week?"

His expression didn't change.

Darcy groaned and hung her head, thumping her palm against her temple a few times. It didn't help; her eyes stung with fresh tears. "I didn't think it was that obvious," she muttered, not even reacting when Bucky grabbed the hand she was smacking herself with. "I thought... I thought I was holding it together pretty well. I mean," she scoffed, a laugh, but much more bitter, "We went on one damn date. That's all." Frustration filled her veins at an alarming rate. She'd never been like this over anyone before in her whole life--it was a level of vulnerability that she avoided at all costs, yet where was she? Alone and knocked up on Christmas Eve.

"Did you not hear a word of what I just said?"

Before Darcy looked up, Bucky wrapped his good arm around Darcy's shoulders and pulled her into a one armed hug. He sighed in that older brother kind of way--there was an edge of frustration there as if he wanted to shake her senseless, but wouldn't. "That kid has been pining for you since the day he first laid eyes on you. But he was always shy around dames he actually liked--not that they scared him, but I think he just wanted to do things the right way."

Darcy wrinkled her nose. "The _right_ way?"

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Hell if I know what that would be. He always took his damn time and then he'd be too late, someone else would swoop in and get the girl--"

"--I get the feeling that someone was you, punk."

"ANYWAYS... you're different, though. And I pushed him a bit but I told myself I wouldn't meddle," and then he gave her that shit-eating grin of his, "and that I wouldn't do any swoopin', not with you. But then Stark took matters into his own hands."

Darcy frowned and glared back over the couch towards Stark. He was in the middle of a conversation with Happy, but he felt her eyes immediately and turned her way. He started at the intensity of her stare and then she heard him ask through the music and conversation , ' _Okay, why is Lewis mad at me? I've been behaving._ '

The hand on her shoulder squeezed gently, bringing her attention back to Bucky. "Which is why I said you two would've figured it out anyway. Which is to say that you," and he used his other hand to chuck under her chin lightly, making her look him in the eyes which were as warm and sincere as she had ever seen them, "are not just a 'fling' to him. I know that's what you're thinking. You couldn't be more wrong."

Darcy wrinkled her nose again.

Bucky sighed and leaned back into the couch, clearly giving up. "You two are perfect for each other. Knuckleheads...  I wish you'd believe that."

She wished she did, too.

"... He'll be fine, you know. He's got you to come home to. And the Strike Team is watching his back."

The comfort was enough for her eyes to start to burn again. It was getting overwhelming. She ducked her head and mumbled with a thick voice, "... I know."

Her reaction made Bucky squeeze her shoulders one more time before he pressed a kiss to her forehead. With that, he backed off--Bucky was quite good at reading people's emotions, especially when someone was being pushed too far. So he pushed himself up off the couch, picked up the sprig he left on the table and wondered who else he could tease.

"... thanks, Buck."

Bucky paused to brush his hand over her head. "No problem, doll. Keep your chin up."

As she had mentioned: babysitting was one of her main jobs. She hadn't expected someone else to be looking after her.

\-----------

_This was her first real 'company Christmas party.' Any that Darcy bore witness to previously happened on TV. The boss would obviously get too drunk, there was always someone who played a prank (drawing on someone's face after they had passed out, etc.) and someone would get smooched under the mistletoe and someone would probably be punched as a result._

_Well, if she really thought about it... things were kind of similar._

_Her boss, Tony Stark, was definitely drunk. Happy was passed out and Col. Rhodes was drawing on his face with magic marker. Clint Barton was cheekily running around with mistletoe (he was eventually stopped with a swift kick from Natasha Romanoff)._

_But let's face it: she was at the Avengers company Christmas party and was internally freaking out._

_The guest list really only consisted of the Avengers and their significant others--Tony and Pepper, Bruce and Betty, Clint, Natasha, Steve, Thor and Jane--and while she was technically part of the 'outsiders' group with Happy and Rhodes, she wasn't exactly eager to hang out with them._

_Jane and her had only been on the Stark payroll for two weeks--after two months of negotiations through Phil Coulson and SHIELD--so Darcy really hadn't settled in yet. Jane had a free pass--she was girlfriend to freakin' Thor, the Thunder God--and that earned her an easy invite to the party. During Darcy's first meeting with her new boss, Tony Stark, she had, in her nervousness, made an inappropriate joke regarding gay deer and bucks, and Tony had laughed so hard she almost missed him inviting her to the party. She accepted enthusiastically, of course (with only slight hesitation as he may be inviting her just to tell more dirty jokes) and now here she was, holding the wall up in the corner, fingers clenching her punch glass._

_Jane walked over to her and nudged her shoulder, startling the girl. "C'mon--they don't bite."_

_Darcy scoffed. "They don't bite you--because Thor would beat them."_

_"Thor will also beat them on your behalf," Jane insisted and frowned. "You know that. You're like a little sister to him."_

_Darcy tilted her head and considered that was right... it may also be why no one was hitting on her yet._

_Either way, Jane dragged her away from the wall and Darcy introduced herself to some of the most kick-ass women she would ever meet, and then the five-year-old-man-child that was Clint Barton, and the shyest scientist on the east coast Bruce Banner and that's when he walked in, fresh from a debrief and a mission, hair still wet from his post-mission shower. Steve Rogers, the living legend._

_And she had so many ideas of what Captain America would be like face to face, and that night she realized the grave mistake she had made in assuming that Steve and the Captain were one in the same. There were some things that would never go away--the commanding voice used when he was giving orders, which included telling Stark to 'shut the fuck up'--but there was a very real and believable man under the mask. He swore, he laughed, he poked fun at his comrades. The mistake she made was that this guy was unattainable and untouchable when the reality was that Steve Rogers looked for any kind of social interaction he could get, and he revelled in it all. The longer he was there, the less he seemed hardened by battle and war, and the brighter he felt--the whole room felt warmer._

_And he set those baby blues on Darcy and smiled as they shook hands upon introduction and, well, she was a completely fucked._

 

\---------------------------

 

She didn't know for how long she was spacing out, but she didn't come back to reality until something entered her vision. A steaming mug was held out to her. Attached to that mug was Pepper Potts.

Pepper smiled and offered reassurance. "It's ginger and peppermint. My sister swore by it through her whole second trimester."

Not like Darcy wouldn't trust anything Pepper would offer her. She'd trust the woman with her life. (Hmm, thought for later: she needs to name a guardian for this kid and Pepper would be perfect. No offence to Jane, but sometimes science takes first priority in her life and we all know that. Pepper was totally one of those women who could command an army while balancing a baby on her hip).  "Thanks Pepper," she said. She took he mug and sipped it carefully. It wasn't as bad as she thought it would be.

Pepper sat down next to her. "Are you having fun?"

Darcy finally made a face. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Because you've been sitting here, alone, since you got here fourty-five minutes ago."

... Oh.

Darcy bit her lips together as she met Peppers gaze. Thankfully, she wasn't mad; she was smiling and not as sadly as Bucky had been. This was sympathy. This is what Darcy didn't want.

So she started to sit up, holding her mug carefully so she wouldn't spill. "I think I'm going to head to bed."

Peppers hand reached out and gently grasped her hand. "Sit back down.

Darcy simply turned her hand around and grasped her fingers. "Pep, you've put on a lovely party and everyone is having a great time--"

The CEO's fingers curled tightly around Darcy's, a slight pinch from her nails as they dug into her skin. "And everyone still is having a great time. Look at Bucky. He's positively giddy." Before Darcy could look over her shoulder and confirm this, there was another squeeze on her hand. "Sit."

Pepper may not be all about the knives and the thigh-chokes, but never doubt that Natasha Romanova and Pepper Potts are equally fierce, frightening women. So Darcy parked her butt on the couch without another word. This pleased Pepper and she let go of her hand.

Darcy had been spooked into silence so she stared out the window and didn't dare to speak first. The longer it went on, though, the more intimidated she was by Pepper, but for entirely different reasons. Pepper had been living with this Avenger circus for about two years now--the Tony Stark circus, though? That was its own conversation to be had--and she knew the highs and lows. Tony was absent. Tony was busy. Tony has a tendency to fly into black holes in the sky while carrying nukes.

" ... It never gets easier, doesn't it?"

Pepper turned away from the pleasant view, of the New York skyline illuminating the fluffy snowflakes, towards Darcy. There was such distress in the poor girls eyes that Pepper was sure the girl was going to break soon... but not if she had anything to do with it.  

Pepper shifted on the couch to lean towards her. "I'm going to be honest with you: there are lows. Tony disappearing into the sky? That was a big low."

Darcy started worrying her bottom lip fiercely with her teeth.

Pepper reached over and clasped Darcy's hand between both of hers. "And when he went a little crazy and built fourty-five Mark suits, that was a real low."

"... Wait, what?"

"Hush. The thing is, Darcy," Pepper dipped her head a bit, leaning closer to meet Darcy's gaze and in spite of the conversation, her eyes were hopeful and bright. "In spite of the lows... The highs are priceless. Guys like Tony.... Guys like STEVE.... they put the people they love on a pedestal. We are the ones they rush home to. The responsibility lies on us to recharge them and show them that the world is worth saving--and to be completely honest, Darce," and Pepper huffed a little laugh, "it doesn't take much to give our guys the kick they need. We just need to be there. That's where the responsibility lies," she squeezed Darcy's hand. "This is a long-term commitment. And I didn't walk into Tony's arms the first time he offered, either. I had to consider the fact that I could never walk away from this."

Darcy couldn't help comically dropping her gaze to her bump and saying, "Well we're kinda stuck REGARDLESS--"

Pepper grinned, happy that some of Darcy's natural sass was coming back. She squeezed Darcy's hand. "So might as well reap the benefits, right?"

Darcy offered her a small smile--in truth, she did feel better about it all.

"The baby is good and healthy, right?"

Darcy nodded--this is the one thing she was completely sure of. "Bruce did a blood test and there's no super soldier serum in sight, so no complications there. He said he wanted to check again in the next trimester, too, once the fetus has developed more.... just in case."

"Good. Steve will be happy to hear that." 

Would he?

Without a word, Darcy sat up and leaned over to give Pepper a hug. The CEO squeezed the girl tightly, making it one of those hugs you really feel all the way through you, the kind that cheer you up.

"I think I'm going to head to bed," Darcy told her.

Pepper squeezed her harder. "Darce--"

"I've been feeling gross all day," Darcy leaned back from the hold. "I can't stomach anything besides oatmeal and my feet hurt. So thank you for the lovely evening," Darcy had to raise her voice near the end as Pepper had started to protest and Darcy had to talk over her, and she offered the cheeriest of smiles, "I will be up here with the rest of you tomorrow morning for presents and breakfast. I promise."  

That seemed to satisfy Pepper, to helped her to her feet, and guided Darcy to the door to let her slip out without the other Avengers making a fuss. 

Darcy didn't make it to the elevator before tears were streaming down her cheeks, though.

 

\---------------

 

Steve's place is just how Darcy left it. The last time she was there was only a week ago. And it wasn't like anyone else had come into the space.

The furniture faced the fireplace and the tree that Darcy insisted JARVIS put up in the corner. (Darcy had teased Steve about it the first time she came over; most folks under fifty years old point all their furniture at a TV. Steve rolled his eyes and said, cheekily, "I guess I'm just old fashioned.") But it was nice furniture--dark and soft under her skin. There was a black and white striped blanket draped over the back that she had come accustomed to wrapping herself up in. Other than that, it was clean lines and dark furniture against the warm wood. It was simple and easy. But not cold--not when Steve was in it.

The best part was the view. All of the Avengers apartments, however small they were, never felt that compact with the floor-to-ceiling windows. Outside the skyscrapers of New York were light up against the dark, and illuminated the snowflakes that fell in flurries. It was almost like a Christmas card.

But it was dark. And it was empty. And Steve wasn't here so it was cold.

Out of a newly acquired habit, Darcy kicked off her shoes and left them by the door. She hung her jacket up by the front door. Once that was done, before doing anything else, she swiped her screen over the apartment's control panel by the front door and turned on the fireplace and the Christmas tree.

The lights sparkled and the fire roared to life.

It helped. It made it feel like he was here.

 

\----------

_So she was pregnant. At least, that's what the pee-stick told her._

_She wasn't sure if this was relieving or much more stressful to know that there was a cause to feelings and sickness and aversion to some of her favourite foods. On one hand, at least she knew she wasn't depressed._

_On the other, there was a baby growing inside of her._

_... of the SUPER SOLDIER variety._

_This was terrifying. It couldn't be as simple as 'Darcy is pregnant and has no idea where to start when it comes to raising a human being.' No, she was pregnant with a man who may have mutated swimmers. She was pregnant with what could possibly be a super baby and she could get hurt in the process. And say she and the baby survive: this child would be targeted by terrorists and evil-doers for the rest of his/her life._

_Only four days have passed since she found out the news and she was too scared to see a doctor or tell anyone._

_Tony sprung for some new equipment and the science folk were enjoying their new toys. Darcy was still using Distraction Therapy so she tried to be in the lab as often as Jane was. So far, so good. Jane would work, the radio would play music, everyone kept busy and no one seemed to be paying attention to her._

_And then that damned song played through the radio._

All Alone On Christmas _. The one that's super cheery and sounds like a total cliché Christmas song with its trumpets and handballs and background choir, but take a second to listen to the lyrics. Someone is living in a world with holiday cheer bursting out all around them and they can't completely enjoy it because someone--someone special and important--it's far away. And the song keeps going, and childhood dreaming is a thing of the past, and nobody ought to be alone on Christmas..._

_Darcy found herself sobbing halfway into it._

_The tears had reached her chin quickly but to her surprise, Jane was by her side in seconds with a tissue in hand and her arm around Darcy's shoulders. The squeeze was meant to be comforting but now it pressed her onward._

_Jane pressed her cheek to Darcy's forehead and held her close. "It'll be okay, Darce," she told her. "He'll be back. Soon. And he's smart--he's so smart--he'll be back. I know it's scary, even with Thor, you worry about them coming back. It's terrifying. It's okay to let it out."_

_Holy crap. Darcy thought she'd been doing a pretty good job keeping her I-miss-my-sort-of-boyfriend misery to herself, since she didn't think anyone else knew. But apparently it was a bit more obvious than she thought. Even if Jane is her best friend._

_But unfortunately, letting out such an emotional release about this situation for the first time meant Darcy lost her filter._

_"I-I'm pregnant."_

_Jane became decidedly frozen for a whole eight seconds. Darcy counted. And with each passing moment, she regretted blurting it all out._

_Then Jane stepped away, only to cross the room and grab their coats._

_"C'mon. We need to get out of here."_

_Jane dragged Darcy out of the Tower and away from the prying cameras and JARVIS to their favourite hole-in-the-wall coffee shop. Jane did a wonderful job asking soft, easy questions, allowing Darcy to offer as much information as she wanted. It was exactly what Darcy needed: there was no judgement from Jane. Jane managed to turn off her sciency side, the one that analyzed every fact to determine which variables failed and what were unstable, and just let it slide. It was nice to know she was capable of that when Darcy really, really just needed to be coddled._

_About halfway through their drinks, Jane asked the most logical question so far. "Have you gone to a doctor yet?"_

_Darcy swallowed hard. "I... don't know how I'll do it."_

_Jane frowned. "What do you mean?"_

_"I mean... besides the emotional shit, there's all the logistics behind it...  the health benefits through work mean I have to go to a SHIELD-approved doctor. They find out that some of the super soldier's... soldiers," she visibly winced when she really couldn't think of another word, "are inside me, everyone's gonna find out... and..." Darcy swallowed hard, and looked down at her fingers, nails nervously dragging over the table. It only stopped and Darcy got her thoughts back in order when Jane reached over and clasped her hand. After taking a shakey breath, she finally said, "... I'm scared. What if something's wrong because... because of the super soldier stuff? And what if... if SHIELD gets all--"_

_"I'm going to stop you right there."_

_Darcy looked up to meet Jane's hard but very, very determined gaze. It would freak her out if there wasn't a hint of a smile attached to it._

_"The beauty of everyone knowing that you and Steve are having a baby is that that kid's going to have the scariest group of godparents--aunts, uncles, whatever you want to call them--on the face of the planet." Jane tilted her head and let the smile loose. "Seriously. Even Tony wouldn't let SHIELD do a damn thing to your baby. He'd have JARVIS lock them out  of the building--or better yet, he'd lock them all in the basement. And don't get me started on Thor, because you and I know Thor will simply fuck shit up if anyone touches that baby."_

_Darcy huffed a laugh. She wasn't wrong about that. And she hadn't even thought of that._

_"That all being said," Jane continued, and she leaned back in her chair and picked up her coat. "I think I know which doctor we can go to who will make you feel better."_

_Jane took Darcy to Bruce._

_Bruce was only slightly surprised by the news but still did the right thing by congratulating her. After Jane told him the worries about complications, he gladly offered to take some samples to assure everything was okay. It was a bit nerve wracking, now that Darcy was actually starting to deal with her situation, but when it was over she was glad that it was Bruce taking her blood, glad that it was Bruce giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, and completely trusted his declaration that came a few days later, when he approached her in a quiet hallway in the tower, that Darcy was completely clear of super-serum. She was fine to go to a normal doctor for her pre-natal examinations._

_Darcy had smiled and thanked him and simply squeezed his hand._

_This was reassuring to say the least. Because now that she knew the baby was fine, all she had to do was figure out a) how to tell the father and b) how her baby would survive with enemies around the world looking for a way to hurt Captain America._

_... yeah, this wasn't all that reassuring._

_But she should've known that Thor would know before everyone else would._

_Yeah, Jane and Thor are a pretty tight couple and that means they share everything, so it was only inevitable._

_It still shocked her when Thor came into the lab one morning, Jane hot on his tail, an apology on her lips as if she was trying to get it in before Thor spilled the beans, but she didn't hear it because Thor wrapped her in a great hug and told her, "I cannot hold back my excitement. My Lady Darcy and my best comrade in arms!"_

_Darcy shot Jane a look over Thor's shoulder that cowered the scientist, who slinked into the corner like a puppy who took a poop on the carpet._

_So Darcy patted Thor on the shoulder, thanked him for his blessing (?) and asked him to please keep it quiet because it wasn't fair that so many people already knew before the father knew. And Thor completely understood. She was pretty sure that he would keep the secret._

_Problem was that Darcy blew the whole lid off the operation when she was in a meeting with the scientists, Coulson and Fury. Like, literally blew it. Tony asked her for the disc with the specs for the new SHIELD surveillance equipment that Jane and Tony were working on, and before Darcy could grab it from her desk, she turned and barfed all over the carpet. Like, projectile and everything._

_Jane clapped her hands over her mouth. Bruce winced on her behalf. Tony looked like he just got an early Christmas present._

_But there wasn't any teasing. What followed after the reveal--which happened to be Thanksgiving Dinner in the penthouse--was a surprising amount of comfort and reassurance. Pepper offered what tips she remembered hearing from her sister's pregnancy. Tony asked if Darcy wanted a custom-made crib (Dear god,_ NO _.) Thor asked if there was a possibility of the child having a Norse name. Bucky, of all people, was pretty quiet, but he kept smiling whenever she looked at him and it was completely genuine. He was simply flabbergasted that his best friend was going through this... and apparently, he couldn't be happier for him._

_But no one brought up Steve. No one. They were either scared to--scared to set Darcy off. They knew it was awkward and impossible to talk about. And their opinion really didn't matter--this affected Darcy and Steve, not them._

_Except then Bucky and Thor had a glare-off as to who would be named godfather and Thanksgiving turned into a very interesting event involving grown men throwing mashed potatoes. Darcy laughed for ages, for the first time in a month._

_The cat was officially of the bag. And Steve still had no idea._

 

\-----

 

The warmth of the fireplace was spreading easily through the room. Darcy fiddled with the control panel for a few more things; the TV hidden in the wall above the fireplace came into view. She turned the kettle on in the kitchen. By the time she got changed into her pyjamas, she would be ready to tuck in with some tea and _Home Alone._

Except as she approached the bedroom, the light beside the bed turned on.

Darcy froze.

If there was in intruder, JARVIS wouldn't have let her in. He wouldn't. He knew better. Tony programmed Darcy's Tower Status to be like she was in witness protection; JARVIS wasn't allowed to let her walk into danger.

So with the dumbest glimmer of hope, Darcy pushed the door open all the way.

He had to have just come home--he was still wearing his boots, still in his jacket. The duffle bag he'd been living out of for the last two months was fallen on the floor near the closet. But he turned around and he may have been tired all the way down to his bones, his eyes tired and a thick fuzz of facial hair aging him, but Steve's eyes landed on her in his doorway and his face lit up like.... well, a Christmas tree.

Damn it, these weird hormones are making her really, _really_ corny lately.

Steve's eyes crinkled as his mouth pulled to a big, white-toothed grin. "Darce." He said her name and it was the happiest sound in the world.

Darcy clamped her hand over her mouth to cover up her stupid grin, her lips pulling so hard that her cheeks hurt. And she tried to speak, but her voice was choked and tears filled her vision.

Steve laughed, muttered ' _babe,_ ' softly and was across the room in a mere moment, sweeping her hair back from her face with his fingers, brushing her tears off her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, so he could kiss her forehead and her nose and finally her mouth.

Darcy clung to his arms and hiccupped through her tears when his lips pulled back. "I just _missed you_ ," her throat tightened around the words before she could get them out.

Steve wrapped his arms around her to hold her close and she sunk into him. "I missed you too," he reassure her, kissing her hair.

Darcy took a deep breath and sunk into is arms, hands pressing to his chest, fingers scratching at his dark uniform. It was worn and dirty and she couldn't even imagine what he'd been through, but in spite of the clothes, the rest of him just felt too good, too familiar... like being away from home on a long trip and finally coming home to sleep in your own bed. So she put her full weight on him and he kept her.

"God, you smell amazing," he muttered into her hair, and his voice was breathless. "Better than I remembered."

"You stink," she mumbled into his coat.

Oh my god. Pregnancy completely takes away your filter. It's true.

Steve laughed--thank god--and pulled back a bit. "I know, I was going to shower before going up to Stark's place--"

"No, let's just stay here," Darcy said, grasping his arms before he could completely pull away. She looked up to him and pleaded a bit. "I know it's selfish, and if you want to go see everyone, it's okay, forget about it... but I kind of just want you for myself tonight." Her eyes left his face for a moment as embarrassment  heated her cheeks. She hadn't been this forward before.

Steve only looked at her for a second, his eyes roaming warmly over her face, before his decision was made. "All I want to do is shower, put my sweats on, and curl up with my girl in front of the fire."

Darcy didn't want to admit how easily she smiled when he called her his girl, so she tried to cover it up by leaning on her tip-toes, kissing his lips and slapping his rear. "Well, hurry up with that shower then."

Steve chuckled and bit back at her lips for one more taste before he made his way to the closet. He looked over his shoulder at her, his smirk reaching his eyes as he shrugged off his jacket and grabbed a few towels.

Surprisingly, when he wasn't looking, Darcy let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. Relief washed over her in a huge wave and it took a few deep breathes to steady herself.  Then she realized she'd been holding this breath for the last two months. He was here. He was home. She may not believe it, but he was.

Except now that he was home, there was the minor issue of informing him of their love child.  That was one conversation she was not prepared for, not in the slightest.

"Steve?"

Her voice was weak and shaking, more so than a moment ago, and Steve may have already been in the door of the bathroom but he spun back instantly. "Yeah?"

Darcy fell back onto his bed without even looking and made grabby hands at him. "We need to talk. Like, now--and it has to be now because everybody else knows and it's driving me mental that you don't know and it's not one of those things you just blurt out over the phone--"

_Yeesh. Get it together, Darce._

He didn't have to be told twice. In two strides Steve had crossed the room and was sitting beside her on the bed, and worry filled his eyes as he grasped her flailing hands. "Darce, what is it? You're scaring me."

Her eyes fell down to his hands. They were rough, but very warm. As she stared at his long fingers, his hand squeezed hers. She moved to thread their fingers together. It gave her that extra little push and reassurance; she took a soft breath.

"I'm pregnant."

The window blew outside the windows.

"... about three months along."

The fireplace in the main room crackled and spat.

"... and it's yours."

Steve, who hadn't moved since she spat it out, finally lifted his head. Darcy stopped staring at their hands and looked up to see him frowning. "I kinda figured that out when you said three months along."

Darcy winced at her own mistake. "Sorry."

"No--" he cut her off and shifted, rolling his shoulders, pulling one hand back to scrub his fingers through his hair. He sighed, and she could see the wheels turning in his head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be snapping about this."

"You're not snapping. You're handling it better than I thought you would."

"What did you think I would do?"

"Well, at first I thought you were just going to sit in place, stuck in a coma for like, a week or so."

Steve snorted and Darcy felt a bit better.

"But then I realized... you'd probably sit and be sick with worry about it all. Kind of like I have, for the last few weeks."

Steve's hand squeezed hers, his thumb rubbing back and forth over the back of her hand. She felt the callous there, every edge of it.

"I wish you told me."

Darcy pouted. "You were deep undercover in the middle of busting a Russian crime lord. Do you actually think that Son of Coul would give me your number so I could call you up?"

Steve huffed a laugh and bit back a grin. "No, I guess not... "

Finally the poor boy lifted his gaze and looked her in the eye. Darcy missed those eyes; they were so light. They were the first thing she noticed when she met him a year ago.

"... so... everyone knows?"

Darcy pulled her lip into her mouth and worried it between her teeth. Heat rushed to her cheeks as her prior embarrassments overwhelmed her. "It's not like I threw a party and told everyone. It just kind of... happened."

Steve huffed a laugh. "No, that's something Stark would do."

"Jane found out first."

"Of course. She's your best friend." And he wasn't even being sarcastic about it.

"Then we told... well she made me go see Bruce." Steve started to frown but Darcy cut him off. "B-Because of the... the super serum. It was freaking me out. I didn't know if it would... complicate things." She realized the irony behind her words and rolled her eyes at herself before muttering, "more complicated than they already _are..._ "

"Darce."

The fear was apparent in his eyes. His shoulders were tense and he was holding his breath. Darcy didn't make him hold out long. She reached a hand up and carded her fingers slowly through his hair, pushing it back from his brow. "It's fine. Everything's fine. Bruce took my blood and he's going to take it again in a month when... when the kid gets bigger, just in case, but as far as he's concerned, there isn't a drop of serum in me."

Steve sighed heavily and he lowered his head as the weight lifted from his shoulders. Darcy smiled sympathetically and continued to brush his hair back. She remembered that he liked that; the first time tried it, after they were spent and lying in his bed and his eyes were closed and her hand moved on a whim. When she lightly scratched his scalp, he practically purred. He made the same noise tonight.

Now that he was relaxed.... Darcy cleared her throat. "And then Jane told Thor and he was going to keep it secret, but then I barfed in front of everyone."

When Steve raised his head, he was grimacing on her behalf. "Everyone?"

"In front of and almost on Nick Fury," she elaborated.

Steve chuckled softly and reached up to take her hand from his hair. "My poor girl," he laughed, and pressed a kiss to her wrist. Darcy smiled warmly at the attention, which resulted in Steve pulling her into his lap and into his arms. She leaned back from the hold to look up at him. Steve looked surprisingly relaxed for the situation at hand; he was even close to smirking.

Darcy swallowed hard. "I mean... there are still complications... but, like... more of the fact that anyone could use this kid against you--"

His eyes filled her vision as he pressed his forward to hers. "Anyone who touches a hair on its head will have me to deal with. If anything remains, the rest of the Avengers will be in line."

Darcy worried her lip between her teeth. "You mean that? I mean, of course you mean it," her lips started to pull into a grin. "But... I mean... you want it... around, right? God, I'm so eloquent right now--"

"Darce."

Steve cupped her face in her hands and tilted her chin up. His eyes were bright and lively--Darcy always worried that there'd be a day, after a bad mission, when he'd come home and he'd be dark and cold. Right now, though, he looked nervous and excited and breathless.

"The first concern is that you're safe and healthy," Steve spoke quietly. "The second is that the baby is safe. If everything is fine..." he swallowed past a lump in his throat. 

"... if everything is fine, I want to do this. I know it's rushed, but... I've always wanted to be a dad. When we were younger, Bucky and I spent so much time talking about what kind of dad's we would be. How we'd spoil our kids, never leave them, and we always, always wanted them to be happy." His thumb brushed over a stray tear on Darcy's cheek. "I can't think of anyone else I'd rather do this with than you."

Darcy's lips pulled into such a tight smile that her cheeks hurt. "Really?"

Steve leaned forward, closing the gap between them. "Really."

They kissed, warm and wet, for long minutes. The only thing that pulled them back up to reality was when Darcy caught a whiff of him. She pulled back sharply. "Okay, babe, you know I love you, but you still stink. And mixed with the pregnancy hormones and the nausea--"

"Say no more," he playfully pushed her back onto the bed, only to hover over her body and kiss her once more before standing up. "I'll go shower." He reached back and pulled his shirt up over his head.  Darcy grinned at his abs--oh, she missed those--but as he turned back to the shower, he called back over his shoulder, "Love you too, by the way."

Oh. That was the first time she said _I love you._  

Darcy had been grinning like an idiot up at the ceiling, the weight of the world lifted off her shoulders. That went much better than she thought it would.

The shower turned on and it took Darcy out of her daze; now she was moving on to the next priority, and that was to get her tired baby-daddy into some clean pyjamas, herself into some pyjamas and then to get them both on the couch. They had a lot of cuddle time to make up for. But his duffle bag and clothes were starting to stink and she wouldn't relax until they were dealt with.

Darcy picked up his jacket and put it away in the front hall. She pulled at his duffle-- _oh my_ _god what did he have in there, bricks?!_ \--and made the decision to leave it on the floor where it was, and she'd began to unpack his things. Most of it went into the laundry basket, but a few things were fine. She came across a few things--small gifts, already wrapped, all in the same paper. She had a feeling this was one of those department-store wrapping jobs, done all at once; she bit back a smile and left the items on his dresser and tried not to get her hopes up that this was all for her.

It felt silly getting her hopes up like this, especially when the bitter part of her brain kept reminding her that Steve and her only dated for _one week_ before he shipped out. There was far too much happening for a one-week-old relationship to survive.  

 _One weeks and eight months of friendship,_ a little voice reminded her. _Stop brushing this off as something silly._

Her hand gently ran over her stomach and the very not-silly thing happening in there. No way to brush that off.

There were a few plastic bags shoved here and there in the duffle; one had all of his worn socks and smelled of death. She gagged and chucked it into the laundry (although there probably wasn't enough bleach in the world to salvage them). The next bag had postcards for his collection. Darcy smiled and looked at them before placing them on his dresser. The last bag was soft, and she opened it up to find something cotton. She unfolded it.

It was a onesie. White. Black writing on the front.

_I'm New Here._

She blinked. And stared.

Her brain broke for a few seconds before she effectively lost it.

\---------

Steve was in the middle of lathering up when his bathroom door slammed open. Not even a second later, the door to the shower was pulled open. There was Darcy, red-faced (from rage? embarrassment?) and holding that onesie her hands.

Steve had jumped when she opened the door. Darcy opened her mouth... and then didn't know what to say. It took a second before her shoulders slumped and she asked, exhausted--from keeping it together, from their strenuous conversation, from life in general--gesturing to the onesie. "You _knew?!_ "

Steve's eyebrows rose, complete taken back, until his gaze saw what she was waving around. His mouth formed into a silent 'oh' before he bit his lips together _to hide his grin._

Darcy gaped again. "Who _told_ you?" She was practically shrieking.

Steve laughed, mostly from nerves, and hesitantly ased (while trying to look so innocent about it all), "Promise you won't murder them?"

" _Tell me, Rogers!_ "

"... Bucky called me."

"... I'm going to _kill_ him--"

"You said you wo--"

"I didn't promise a damn thing--"

"Darce--DARCE, get back here!"

He chased her naked all the way to the bedroom door before he closed it ahead of her, taking advantage of his long arms. Darcy pulled at the handle but Steve kept his weight on it; Darcy didn't stand a chance.

She was still struggling though, and putting in the effort, until Steve--wet, naked, glorious Steve--was standing behind her and pressing a kiss to the back of her neck.

"Remember what I just said? Bucky is the only person in the world that really knows how much I wanted to be a dad. You never knew that, and there was no way you could have. So don't beat yourself up and don't hate him, okay?"

Darcy continued to pout. _That meddling jerk..._

Steve leaned down and kissed her softly. "It was the best news I've ever heard in my life."

She stopped pouting after that and her heart clenched under his gaze.

"I hate to admit it, but after he told me, I was... I was much more careful out in the field. I didn't just have you to go home to anymore. And it's always going to be like that from now on. Alright?" He grasped her hand and weaved their fingers together. "I promise."

Darcy bit her lip before taking a shaking breath. "We... we're doing this."

And Steve smiled and kissed her. "We _can_ do this."

Now she scoffed. "Says you."

"We can do this. We've got ... six months to get ready?"

"About that much."

"In the meantime," his deft fingers slid down and grasped the bottom of his sweater dress--now wet with soap suds falling from his body--pulling it up over her head in one swift move. "Let's clean up."

Darcy smiled up at him and set the onesie aside. "That," she pointed to it, "is hilarious, by the way."

Steve brushed her hair back and started placing wet kisses along her neck. "There was another one," he spoke against her skin, "that said 'I Still Live With My Parents.'"

Darcy laughed whole heartedly at that, and it was music to Steve's ears. And he rested a warm hand over her bare stomach and the small bump starting to grow, before she pulled him down and kissed him deeply, never wanting to let go.

 

 ---------

_The occasion was Pepper's birthday party. Tony decided to put a rooftop garden on Stark Tower when he had to remodel after the Battle New York; it was done just in time for the party so the last few days of summer could be truly enjoyed. It was a slightly swanky affair and Steve wore his cleanest khakis and a buttoned shirt, thinking this would be okay--but then Tony saw him. Now Steve was stuck in a clean white button-down, arms rolled to the sleeves, and black pants, all by this Armani guy._

_He spotted her as soon as he got to the party. It has been this way for the last eight months--his eyes would find her wherever he could--and tonight was no different._

_Darcy was wearing a vintage dress--navy blue, her favourite colour--that made her feel like she could pull off classy, just for one night. It made her stand up a bit straighter, sway her hips more, all with an air of confidence. She wasn't acting like a completely different person, though; she drank and laughed with Thor, and critiqued guest's shoes with Pepper (so discretely) and helped Clint stick wet candies to the back of Tony's suit jacket._

_Steve watched her and tried to stop smiling, but it was impossible. Darcy was simply a breath of fresh air. And even as light and refreshing as that sounds, she was still firm: in her beliefs, in what she wants in life, in her attitude..._

_The fact that she was drop-dead gorgeous made his school-boy crush even worse._

_Darcy wondered over to the edge of the roof, away from the crowd. The breeze blew her dark locks all over._

_"Geeze, can you stop fawning?"_

_Steve started. Bucky--best friend, confidant, the rock he needed--was glaring something fierce._

_Steve instantly became defensive. "What?"_

_Bucky gestured to Darcy, who was now being cornered by Stark, with his beer. "How long have you known her?"_

_Steve blinked. "Um... eight months, two weeks and," he glanced at his wrist watch, "seven hours and twenty minutes?"_

_"And how long have you been in love with her?"_

_Steve's gaze hardened, but that didn't do anything to stop the blood from rushing to his cheeks and ears. Bucky held his ground and didn't budge. Damn it._

_So Steve swallowed past the lump in his throat, avoided his gaze and lamely replied, "... eight months, two weeks, seven hours and ten minutes."_

_Bucky rolled his eyes. "Do something about it, would you? It's starting to get annoying. It used to be funny."_

_"Jerk."_

_"Punk."_

_"Hey."_

_When they both looked up, Tony had left Darcy's side and was heading their way. What caught Steve's attention though was that Darcy was gaping at Tony's retreating, candy-covered back, clearly flabbergasted. When she met Steve's gaze, she turned around instantly and stared out at the view to avoid his gaze._

_"How long have you been obsessing over Darce, Cap?"_

_It took Steve a few moments to process what Tony said. "Wait, what?"_

_Tony looked over his purple-coloured lenses at Steve, not buying the act. "Seriously."_

_"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"_

_"Because it's getting annoying--"_

_"It's only annoying because everyone keeps talking about it--"_

_These guys were completely ruining his game._

_Tony took a glass of champagne from a wandering waitress and pointed a finger at Steve. "The thing is, Cap, that girl has liked you back from the moment she clamped eyes on you. And it's obvious from every time you stroll into the lab."_

_... what?_

_Tony poked his chest, and suddenly the snark was gone. There was some form of sincerity on his face. "You got a second chance at life--it might be the only second chance you get. Because with her?" he pointed back to Darcy, "you never would've met her without that. Take advantage, seize the day, all that shit."_

_Bucky hummed, almost impressed. "That was almost sincere."_

_"And you, are always an ass," Tony bit back. Back to normal._

_"You've got candy all over your suit."_

_"... wait,_ what _."_

_While Tony and Bucky bickered, the only thing that resonated in Steve's mind was Tony's declaration about Darcy. And it was only confirmed when she looked over her shoulder, looking through the crowd._

_Looking for him._

_\----------------_

_He didn't let go of her hand until they reached his room, ten floors below the party._

_He only let go just so he could reach up and brush her hair back from her face with both hands, before cupping it gently and kissing her lips. He was soft and gentle and sipped at her like he couldn't get enough, and then she couldn't stop smiling from the giddiness of how good it felt to know he wanted her. And then he was smiling against her lips, too._

_The hands wandered to pull at her dress, at the straps, chasing the fabric down with warm kisses to her shoulder. She carded her fingers through his hair and pulled at his shirt._

_Once the clothes were gone, fingers wandered; they grabbed and soothed, pressed and pinched and mapped out every single cranny. Every bit that made her tickle and every bit that made her moan and even what made her whimper. For their first time, he spent so much time making sure she felt good (and my god, did he make her feel good) that she actually had to grab at him--finding him hard as a rock only proved her point--smirked as she kissed the corner of his mouth, tasting a bit of herself there and squeezed him, before muttering, "I get that you've been thinking about me for a while and you're jumping at the bit, but I've been thinking about you too, you know."_

_Steve huffed a laugh, embarrassed by his enthusiasm but they kissed, hot and open and wet and she guided him into her. He shuddered and breathed hard against her shoulder. She held him close. He surprised her by mouthing every little thing he loved about her against the skin of her neck--not just her eyes but her smirks, the way she plays with her fingers when she's bored, how she'd play with her hair and how much he wished he could play it it. The affection overwhelmed her beyond her imagination. They moved together until she saw stars._

_And they didn't leave his room for three days._

_He made breakfast--some days a bit later than others. They showered. He showed her and explained his postcard collection. She poked fun at some of the clothes in his closet and took his most embarrassing item (a legit tee shirt with comic-book Captain America blazoned over the front, hitting her mid-thigh) to wear around the apartment. The smile Steve gave her when she emerged in the shirt sent tingles she'd never felt before down to her toes._

_They ate. They slept. They held each other. They watched some movies. They made a complete nest of Steve's apartment. And when she left, three days later, her clothes smelt like him.  
_

_\-------_

 

And it didn't change much from that. It was like the three months hadn't happened. And six months later, they had another new addition; Steve said the place finally felt like home.

**Author's Note:**

> References used in this fic: 
> 
> 'All Alone on Christmas' by Darlene Love
> 
> Blatant 'Love, Actually' line. 
> 
> And the candy-on-the-suit bit was an homage to 'Arrested Development,' thank you very much. 
> 
> And the onesie that totally existed in real life--we bought it for my cousin's baby shower, from Chapters/Indigo in Canada. The 'I still live with my parents' one is still available online.
> 
> HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYBODY!! <3


End file.
